I see where you are coming from ODK. Again, it might just be my tolerance changing as I get older, I do not really know. I just remember I used to be able to take rip after rip after rip and be straight. But now, if I smoke like I used to, I get mad paranoid and anxious. I felt like I had to call it quits any way just in case any jobs I apply for require testing. None of my jobs in the past have, but I am just playing it safe.
It could also be as you get older there are more responsibilities in your life, it's a very different smoking attitude to when your younger, how I use it now is so different to 15 years ago, I work with pretty difficult kids, some shifts can be really full on, you leave all tense and sometimes like the whole system is failing them, so you amble home with all these thoughts in your head, a lot of frustration etc, you get home, sling some beats on, then start the infamous zoot ritual, before long your heart is ticking nicely at about 70 bpm, and your thoughts have changed viewpoint, a wider scope is added, looking with 5 different perspectives at the same time, and an increase of empathy, it can go from Bob was such a little shit tonight sick of people getting hurt, which can then become, poor little bugger has to spend the whole of term time in a big house, being told what to do, with no self belief due to the box he has been placed in. I don't blame him for getting worked up and lashing out, he just wants to see his family, but knows they can't cope with him. Then the next zoot is problem solving, what can we do for this kid. you can transfer this whole thought map to anything in life, also helps you realize, maybe these aren't thoughts but how you feel at that present moment. We are all changing at the moment anyway, another 5 years, no one will probably be able to eat meat, we'll be so aware of how we feel and what intaking certain things do to us, the last thing we will want is flash backs of the memory of a cow being slaughtered and how it felt as we're eating a medium to rare steak.